Aligning Your Reasoning: Why We Do What We Do

Ever found yourself doing something and then struggling to answer the question’ why on earth did I just do that? Or why did I really say that? Even deeper yet, what exactly is this weird feeling am I feeling right now because of SOMETHING that was triggered?

 Maybe you said you were going to the gym because you wanted to get fit, but deep down, you were just trying to avoid work or just wanted to look like a cute fitness enthusiast in the eyes of onlookers. Or perhaps you claimed you bought that new dress because it was on sale, but really, you wanted to feel more confident and lift your low spirits.

Sometimes there’s this disconnect between our actions and our reasons  and us really zoning in on what these true reasons are but your not alone, cause it actually is a crazy common human experience. It's like saying you're only going to the bar or restaurant ( liming) because you want to see your friends, but we all know the real reason is to drink away your sorrows. It isn’t cute but real life can get in your face so you know we put it on the table when we have our girl chats.

In the van this week I remember that funny security guard who said he wouldn't drink because he didn't want to miss work? In my head I was thinking how weird is that reasoning? Is that his ONLY reason for not getting drunk the night before? I don’t know but it sure made me think.

That's a classic example of a surface-level reason, and ladies we aren’t seeking to be surface level ladies! Oh no. Sure, no wanting to miss work is a valid concern, but it may not have captured the true motivation behind his decision. Was he really only worried about work, or was he just trying to avoid the potential consequences of getting drunk but not actually say it for a van full of people to hear? It made me wonder cause the nurse in me jumps to much deeper reasons for not getting drunk like:

• Health concerns:  Loving your Liver, brain and nervous system sounds like an awesome real reason to not get drunk, as the GOOD Book reminds us, "Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own." (1 Corinthians 6:19)
• Financial goals: He might be saving money to achieve a specific goal,cause them bottles ( or glasses) can add up when your having fun;  echoing the wise words of Benjamin Franklin, "Beware of small expenses. A small leak will sink a great ship."
• Personal growth: Perhaps he's trying to develop better self-control, as Aristotle once said, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."
• Relationship commitments: He might want to avoid disappointing his partner or family, remembering the proverb, "A good name is better than riches, and favor is better than wealth." (Proverbs 22:1)

Whatever his reasoning, if he knows its fuel, so much power to him.

 I’m not really picking on my security friend who doesn’t even know he’s taught me a lesson. I’m actually picking on us. By digging deeper, we can uncover the real reasons behind our actions. This can help us make more informed decisions, set better goals, and live more authentic lives. Be more in control of our very selves!

So, how can we align our reasoning with our actions?

1. Be honest with yourself: Never shy away from your true motivations, as the Bible encourages, "Examine yourselves to see whether you are truly believers. Test yourselves. Do you not recognize that you yourselves are Christ's?" (2 Corinthians 13:5). I appreciate friendships I can come naked before with my truest motives and intents and knowing they do the same with me without judgement, whilst helping each other navigate that emotionally charged mental life rivers.
2. Ask yourself "why" repeatedly: Keep digging until you get to the root of your actions, following the advice of Socrates, "The unexamined life is not worth living." This word ‘ Why’, used correctly is what unlocks the answers of the entire world inside and outside of us.
3. Consider the long-term consequences: Think about how your actions will impact your life in the future, remembering the principle, "Whatever you sow, you will reap." Finding the REAL ROOT is pivotal to controlling what’s really growing in your life garden.
4. Don't be afraid to change your mind: It's okay to re-evaluate your reasons as you learn and grow, as the Bible teaches, "All things are possible to him who believes." (Mark 9:23) Maybe you kept doing something over and over for years, but now you understand WHY and you don’t like it. Feel free to change. It’s your God given life. Take stock and move some furniture around. In fact throw some furniture completely out if you need to after digging down deep.

Yea, this article is a little heavy but, aligning your reasoning with your actions is about taking control of your life and we’re on A MISSION to do exactly that. It's about living with intention and purpose. So, the next time you find yourself questioning your motives, take a deep breath and start digging. You might be surprised by what you uncover.

With Love

Lady Ray~